


Capable Of Love

by bloodrunsred



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Cell Phones, Character Death, F/M, Hurt Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Not Canon Compliant, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Triggers, not too graphic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-24
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-28 01:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15038042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodrunsred/pseuds/bloodrunsred
Summary: At least she had been capable of love.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> GUYS
> 
> THIS FIC HAS SUICIDE IN IT. IF THIS WILL TRIGGER YOU, YOU SHOULD GO READ ANOTHER STORY BECAUSE I DONT WANT YOU GETTING HURT.
> 
> I am aware that this is not canon, and that her personality might be off - im relying on my own experiences and the lead up to all of that, this is my interpretation of the pressure being too much for a canonly 14 year old. 
> 
> If you are suicidal, get some help, from anyone. It's shit and it might be trying, but the little things will help you smile again. 
> 
> This doesn't promote suicide. Suicide isn't a joke and should not be romanticized, and this fic does not do this but it is Marinettes pov. This means that she truly believes suicide will solve her problems. This isn't true, but Marinette doesn't want to believe it.
> 
> Thank you for reading all that, stay safe.

It was dark and gloomy, the night having settled quickly over Paris like a black sheet. The clouds were thick and heavy, suffocating the small girl sitting on the edge of a skyscraper.

  
She leaned back, staring at the sky as she pondered, allowing the heavens to open onto her – rain falling and mixing with the few tears she let slip.

  
She knew she was a hero; she was supposed to be stronger and faster and able to deal with the secret identities. Able to deal with the lies and the bad guys, the powers and her job.

  
Defender of the innocent.

  
She snorted; in order to defend the innocent, was she supposed to become less so? Less innocent, less naive, less as a person and more as a hero.

  
She supposed so.

  
She had to keep up her baking, her homework, her school work, her friendships, her love life –

  
Her love life.

  
It was with heavy heart that she dialled her partner, big blue eyes glossy and a stark contrast to the white of her skin, the red and black of her suit. He picked up, immediately of course. He was always the dependable one.

  
_“Hello?”_ His voice was sleepy and she cursed herself that she had woken him up after noticing how tired he had been.

  
Marinette just smiled at the face on her screen, vivid green eyes blinking furiously as their owner tried to wake up properly.

  
“Hello,” she smiled back, heart breaking behind her facade because he would hate her for it, but what else could be done?

  
_“Is something wrong, milady?”_ Her kitty asked, trying to make out her location. “Is it an akuma?”

  
She bit her lip. She could tell him the truth, cry and ask him to come and comfort her because she knew that he would be able to make it all better. But she was selfish, in the end. She didn't want to tell anyone, didn't even want to think about it because if she didn't do it...

  
More pain. For God knows how long.

  
It could all get better, but she was already tired. She wanted to sleep, even if it meant not waking to see the sun rise.

  
“No! No, everything's fine!” She grinned.

  
_“Okay...?”_ He frowned, confused.

  
“I just wanted to tell you how important you are,” she said, “you're so strong and brilliant and being your partner makes me so happy.” It wasn't a lie. Maybe, in another life, she could have been happy with being his partner, if only she didn't have everything else weighing down.

  
_“Aw, thanks Lovebug!”_ He responded, chipper and almost purring at her praise.

  
“You're so amazing and kind and...I love you.” It was the first time she said the words, and the thousandth time she thought it.

  
She didn't know how she loved him, and she was too tired to figure it out. She just did, and that was all he needed to hear.

  
His eyes were bright and full of excitement and love, lips spread in an impossibly large grin. _“Truly?”_ Was all he managed in response.

  
“Truly,” she giggled, heart lifted if only for a moment. God, maybe she should just go home, live another day just to see him smile so radiantly at her.

  
As if hurried by her thoughts, he had to leave the call, leaving her with a blown kiss, a wink, and a promise of tomorrow. She stood up, admiring her city from her perch.

  
She released her transformation, her superhero persona in a flash of dazzling pink. And, before she could convince herself not to, before Tikki could scream "Stop!", she jumped.

  
She jumped, dying a nameless civilian.

  
She jumped, not as a hero; as a person.

  
She smiled as the ground rushed up to meet her, because at least her partner had shown her that she was capable of bravery.

  
At least she had been capable of love.


	2. Ending One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST ENDING: this is a happy ending, i might post Chats reaction one soon!

Strong arms found their home around her waist, and Marinette was pulled up onto the ledge she had jumped from. She glanced up at her...Saviour? Only to find worried green eyes staring back down at her.

  
“Marinette,” he croaked, looking as though his world had crashed down around him, “My Lady.” 

  
She was still crying, she realised, both loving him and hating him for not letting her fall.

  
“Why are you here, Chaton?” She whispered, hugging him vloser as Tikki flew to join the pair. “How did you...how did you know?” 

  
He held up his baton, sheepish. The red beacon was still - she was no longer transformed – but displayed her last location.

  
“You seemed off,” he explained, “I got here just in time, My Lady.” 

  
“It shouldn't show me after I've detransformed,” she said, still staring st the baton, “that's not how it works.”

  
He shrugged, wrapping his arms and legs around her. “I guess the Miraculous realised you needed help.” He smiled. It was a fake smile, but it still counted.  


  
“I wanted to jump,” she felt so numb and scared and the height was so large, “I really wanted to fall.”

  
“I know,” he soothed her, “but I'm helping you now. I'm here to help you.” She nodded, because Chat was so smart and kind so he had to be right.

  
Of course he could help, she should have just told him.

  
“Yeah.” She sobbed. “Thank you. Thank you so much.” She stroked his ears and ruffled his hair because he was real and solid and could help her.

  
“It's my pleasure,” he smiled, so sadly and she knew he was tired, “tell me what's wrong.”

  
She hesitated, not sure if she should burden him, but at his nudge she started to speak. 

She told him how hard it was to balance, how awful she felt lying to everyone, how people had been telling her to just tell the truth, but she couldn't. 

  
She told him about Adrien, and he stiffened, but she continued on. She spoke about how she knew everyone preferred the hero, preferred Ladybug, because she was some untouchable hero. They didn't like her as a person, they liked her as a mystery, and it hurt.

  
He listened and listened, never interjecting. Tikki too, stayed quiet, unsure as to what to day to her charge. Had she failed her? By encouraging her to remain strong and silent? Tikki had seen many Ladybug's pass, but it never failed to hurt her that she couldn't have done more.

  
That she thought herself and her bugs infallible. 

  
“I don't know,” she felt cold and numb, but oh so warm as she cuddled him closer, “I don't want to go home yet.” 

  
He flashed her the brilliant, brilliant smile, the one she would have lived for, and promised he'd take her somewhere safe.

  
She stood, beckoning Tikki closer so she could transform, but Chat shook his head. 

  
“Not transforming, Princess; I'll carry you!” He was shaken, and so was she, which was why she silently let him bundle her up, give her a kiss on the head and carry her off.

  
“I feel like a child,” she pouted, desperate to bring back some of their usual banter, put everything behind them.

  
“You – we – are children,” he answered, softly, “and sometimes we forget that.” 

  
She smiled, thankful for his warmth and the safety he emitted.

  
“Yeah,” she agreed tiredly, “Let's just be kids for a while.”

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments babes

**Author's Note:**

> I might to an alya/nino/chloe etc fic next, tell me which character will rip your heart out next.


End file.
